TELEVISION = CRAPPY VISION : Again? For Real?!

Sometimes, when we are at the television, all we ever wanted were less ads, more action, and no more reruns.

And if that really do happen, I do believe that we will all be dead by noon. But the reality is, thank God, we all are still living (because you are currently reading my post), and tv's never missed any reruns.

Television programmes nowadays are crap. Too dramatic, lousy CGI's, laughable dialogues, dull and crappy jokes, unimaginable fantasies, and not to mention a very sick plot and predictable ending. But still, even after all those stuffs, we all are still stuck with our television set, too scared to actually throw it out. Because if you really do throw out your television set, man, you're CRAZY!

So here are the few reasons why t.v.'s these days sucks and full of craps.

1) Modern Age Dolby 3D Surround Sound System. Not.

There's this one channel, which I will not reveal the name, has this one tiny problem with their sound system. It sucks. The thing is there this sudden high-pitched sound, which last about two seconds, that goes like an two octave higher than it goes three octave lower than normal then back to normal.

And what made it even more worse is that is so-called glitch happened for like everyday, for every show, every 10 seconds or so, even in ads! And amazingly, nobody else is bothered by this glitch thing. Not even people from the channel thingy. So, I made a conclusion. It's a 'watermark' for  t.v. shows and ads. And since they don't want to mess up the whole scene of the movie or show or ad, so they made the 'watermark' in their sound. What a nice idea guys!

2) Déjà vu

Seen that movie for how many time already by now? Well, they just don't really care. Not even moved by the fact that each year, the Hollywood movie industries made more than 20 internationally box office movie, the Bollywood movie industries on the other hand just can't get enough hands to do the counting for them. Yet, it's still the same movie, year after year. Name it, we'll probably haven't seen it yet, because the same movie is still playing. I wonder when they're going to play Kick-Ass on national t.v? I hoped by that time I still can walk without any walking stick.

3) Live. *Glitch*. We'll be back right back after this.

Hah! Talk about big events. Normally big events are live. Well, big events, locally though. And still, after all this years, big events that are sponsored by huge sponsors and affiliates always have glitches happening here and there. Be it at the venue the big event is happening, or at home. For example,

a) Mute. The singer is singing her heart out, and all people see is that she's gasping for air.

b) Wrong timing. The announcers are all done talking, but sadly, the slide just won't come out. Stage fright I guess.

c) Black-out. Especially viewers from home. We experienced this once in a while, don't we? We're very entertained by the bad jokes then out of sudden, the screen starts to frizzle out(?) and then there's a message saying that 'We are sorry for the inconvinience. We'll be right back in a while'. Coffee break!

d) Lazy ass. This is the cameramen especially. They're too lazy to actually zoom to the backward because they didn't think that the award winner is actually seated at the back. What? The front rows are winners only? Hell no!

4) Lo que hizo, dijo?

And that's what I actually said after hearing that. What? And if you understand German , you suck because that's Spanish. Translation these days sucks. Eventhough Google made an epic move in providing translation for various languages that still haven't covered all the languages in the world, translator for television programmes sucks. I mean, well, not to brag, but I do know my English, and for some normal(?) shows aired here in Malaysia, these translation are just some sore in the eyes. Yet, I still looked at them, despite understanding everything spoken by the actor/actress. And still, there got to be some wrong translation done, that are very simple yet magically translated wrongly by these  translators. Seems like you guys need an English Improvement class. 

5) Is that even supposed to be a story?

Yup. Some stories are just TOO hillarious that I can't actually take it for real. Especially those that are supposed to be a sci-fi or action story. It sucks. I just can't write about it anymore.

6) *speechles*

But there are stories out there that just ticks the crap out of me. And by that I meant to say that I just LOVE them! These includes love story that have the novel-like edge. Horror story that have a great camera-view and a great suspens/thriller duo-action. The kind of stories that actually made you gasping, itching, hoping for more (erotic). These are the stories that made me speechles. Bad stories made me switch channels.    

7) Flamboyant.

Have you been watching the t.v recently? Noticed anything cocky, by any chance? Hahaha straight to the point, it's not straight at all. It's gay. It's very disturbing when you actually watched shows or movies or even ads and noticed that there are a foul-smell of homosexuallity being embeded into these things. And I just finding it hard to actually think that they are getting more attention. Not that I have anything against gays, it's just that, well, we are in Malaysia, and for that reason, gay sucks here. So why are they conquering the t.v.? A question that I have to ask.

Even these guys are controversial to me.

And that are the few things about television these days that are just so bad, and wrong, and bad, and wrong. But seriously, if we can really achieve a time where there are less ads and more good story, I'll be a total potato-couch by then. But for now, let's just hopes for the best.

Note : I suddenly realised that there are sites that actually helps you to rank you blog, based on they're amazingly accurate database (I'm just saying!). Right now, I'm checking my rank at Alexa. And form the look of it, I sucks. But still, thanks for your time to read my post. I appreciate it as much as I appreciate safe sex! Thanks a lot!   

TELEVISION = CRAPPY VISION : Crappy Ads

Sometimes life is great. But still most of the time, it sucks. And there's really nothing you can do about it. But still, there are stuffs that just might change it, if you really have the time for it.

Have you ever imagine what if would feel like to actually come back to your own home after work and switch on your television set, constantly changing channels to find one that might actually helps you in soothing your mind after that LONG meeting and then within the next five minutes finding yourself hitting the On/Off button and decided to go and take a warm bath instead?

That would certainly sucks. And that is the horrid truth of what television programs in Malaysia might be. BUT gladly, not all of them. And truth be told, the only crappy show that I think that are not supposed to be aired are the ads.

Ads are meant to actually tell viewers (or readers) that somewhere out there, there is this product that can somehow helps you with whatsoever problem that you might have. BUT (there's always the but) ads nowadays are craps. Or even worst.

This ad for example : 

Note : OH MY GOD there's no sample of this ad in YouTube! Not that I want to put one. If I did that then maybe I'll be making my way to the jail for this. Hrmm, media nowadays.

1) Finger plunging ad.

So the ad goes somewhat like this. There this one Chinese guy who is talking in a very bad English, or rather in a Chinglish. And he kept saying that 'I loves HOLES' which to me sounded pretty much like some sex offender. And throughout the ad he kept thrusting his fingers (what did you think? His 'weapon'? Jeez grow up a little will ya?) into random holes, exclusive of bodily holes (i.e nostrils, ear canals, mouth, skin pore, vagina, or ass hole). And the holes that he did fitted in his finger includes someone's earing, flute, bottle, hair curler, bowling ball, and also a potato chip (the name of the potato chip is kept secret of self benefit).

My opinion : The fact that he love holes is pretty bad enough for me. And since it's a he, it sent off my gaydar on. And it's bad. The ad is  even very confusing. Why bothered with others' holes? I mean, you yourself have holes so why don't you use it? Nostrils for example, I'm sure you can dig for some 'golds' in it. And bowling ball? Everyone who loves bowling had to love the holes. I mean, there's no use in just love to play bowling but hating puting your fingers into the holes that are meant for fingers. And hair curlers? God this man is creepy. 

2) Einstien Jr.

A mom was explaining to her daughter around the age 5 that polar bears lives in the north pole and that they eat fishes, and some vegetables and fruits. Then her daughter asked her mom whether polar bears eat penguins or not. Her mom then in a smirk asked her daughter back 'What do you think?' And after some gulps of her super-awesome-wonderful-yummy-delicious-brain stimulating drink, she went out and grabbed a globe an boldly stated that 'This is the Earth(?). Polar bears live in the north pole while penguins lives in the south pole. Therefore polar bears have never eaten penguins!'. Such a brilliant kid.

My opinion : That kid is way to brilliant for me. And it reminded me of some stories a few years back where there this group of brilliant babies trained by some secret force to create a super evil baby geniuses, which I don't remember the title of the film. Back to the point, I'll show you why this ad is crappy. 

a) The daughter had just asked her mother about the polar bears and the penguins. This make sense since she's a little girl,and a little girl NORMALLY don't know much about how the world works. 

b) Her mother asked her back about her opinion. Why would you asked your daughter a question she had just asked you? I mean what if she asked you where she came from? Are you going to asked her back? Is that normal? 

c) Her daughter drank her amazing drink. Well, that is a way of not answering question that you don't know the answer. 

d) She gladly explained to her mother the whole truth about the world. OH MY GOD that kid sure is some freaking genius! 

3) Mine is bigger than yours.

This next ad is actually an ad for an outdoor programme lauched by a television station here. The whole ad is crappy creepy. At first, there is this hunk guy who had the programme name in this board, which he proudly showed to the camera. Then suddenly came this guy with a bigger board of the same design, holding it in a very sexy and erotic way, placing it near his crotch area. Or maybe its a little above that area I don't care. It's creepy.

My opinion : One word. GAY.

And these are some of the few ads that really gets into my nerve for some very unrealistic reason. I just hate them. And it sucks. And they deserve better ads than this. And I really do believe that they are capable of making awesome ads that these crappy ads. Heh.

Heads up, I might do a similiar version of thi post for tv programmes. Just wait for it!

Note : I won't be using labels anymore, because labels are hard to define and it sucks and no labels means no stress means YAAAAYY!!

Today is MY BIRTHDAY!!

Or maybe it was yesterday...

Whatever it is, THAT 20^th APRIL IS MY BIRTHDAY!! YAAAAYY!!

So yeah. It was my birthday, just 24 hours back. Heh.

Anyway today is so much fun.

Maybe.

Maybe there is much fun.

Maybe not. I don't really knowas to why I'm doing this but maybe it is to elongate this blog post of no direction.

Today a friend of mine called me while I was watching Martha Stewart stuffing herself to death with sausages, or rather with hot dog, since there are buns. And she asked me whether I'm going out with her or not.

Which later reminded me that she was going to TREAT ME to a MOVIE and LUNCH!

YAAAAYY!!

I'm very glad that friends like these is still here in this world even when we are losing more and more layers of ozone. Especially ones that had no doubt in spending money on you. Especially on you. Haha.

And no I'm so not talking about hookers or a sugar daddy or any of that like. Just friends.

And I think that'll wrap it up! YAAAAYY!! for fast post!

Depression... (^o^)

First off, I might want to tell you that that smiley on the title is not appropriate, given that 'depression' is depressing and a (^o^) is such a happy face. BUT (there's always a but), that is my way of telling the whole world of me having mixed feeling, by using18 characters instead of a normla way to type 'mixed feelings' which is only 13 characters because I like to do such thing alot.

Okay enough of all this 'mixed emotions' crap.

Or maybe not. Okay it's not done yet! Well actually earlier this mornig I had been thinking about having a specific days of posting in this bog of mine. And I have agreed with my inner-self that I'll do blog posting post on my blog on every MONDAY, THURSDAY, and SATURDAY. (There are no concrete reason as to why I humangified that days...)

 And here is a pictuer of my inner-self! I call him Fudgy!

Okay. So now the real reason behind this mixed feelings of mine. I had been doing this blog (is it doing? or managing) ever since I was a little boy 2008, but back then, everything was so sh*tty and also lame that even now I am very ashame of myself. Years after that, and also after some gruesome blog-hopping and mind-blowing MMORPG action, I am now who I am.

Or at least I do think that this is me. I mean, if this is NOT me, than who am I? Hrm, that sounded familiar...

The point is, 3 years and all i got is 14 followers. And I am very upset with this. Well maybe the fact is that most of friends are not very eager to read my blog. Maybe the real fact is that my blog is boring and that my inner-self (Mr. FUDGY!!) had alsways told me that my blog is superb and it needed more burgers in it so that everyone would love it.

Maybe burgers will do...

And some of my friends who have been secretly following my blog (when I'm not jumping around Facebook trying to get evrybody read my blog and hoping that they might just click the ads I got all up on my blog just so that they can irritate me more), had been posting on ther walls saying that 'this guy's blog is the best' and that they became a fan of that guy's fanclub is very annoying and somehow irritates me more than spams.

But then again, I always tell myself (and Mr. Fudgy) that life is like a huge doughnut. Sometimes you're this thick, huge piece of doughnut with a mouth watering topping made of rich chocolate with all of the sweetiness and rich flavour in a rich container (which literally mmeans that it IS a rich doughnut), and some other time you're just this stupid piece of doughnut not worth eating because you're expired. But it all ends up the same. It all turns into crap. And then flushed down the toilet bowl. Poor doughnut.

Hahaha. Whatever it is I do hope that life, mine especially, will not end in the toilet bowl. Beacuse that will certainly sucks. And stinks too.

But whatever that my life may come across with, and even if my blog will never be famous, I will never stop writing here. And if I do stop, that surely means that I am currently sitting on the toilet bowl minding my own business.

And as a finishing touch, BURGER!!

INTERVIEW!!! YAAAAYY!! (the real one)

Okay, I know that I have missed like DAYS of blogging, but hey, who cares? I mean, I got like what, only 14 followers? That's like more than your fingers but less than your fingers and your toes sum up all together. And what's even worse is that not ALL of them are reading my post... Hrmmm... This is very annoying and FUN at the same time.


For some very odd reason...


Okay so here we go, the story of my INTERVIEW! YAAAAYY!!


For me personally, what makes this whole interview a lot meaningful is that I actually made a MAJOR MISTAKE and yet still qualify for the interview. So that qualifies me as those who are loved both by God and those inside the orgnization for some very odd reason that I don't really care what! YAAAAYY!!


P/s : I know.. I LIKE YAAAAYY!! They RAWKS!!


Before I start with what happened IN the interview room, lets begin from the outside. When we first arrived at each designated room, or known as panel here, we were to confirmed our attendance at the table in front of each room.


Which I didn't go.


And they thought I didn't came. And noted there that I didn't attend.


But still, I confronted meet up with the person-in-charge of the table and confirmed my attendance and get a free lecture on how important the missing form is and to know that I got the first turn. DAMN.


Anyway, we were assigned to our turns, which is denoted with tags with number. And I got No. 1.. *sigh*


Before we all get into the room, I chatted a little bit with the rest of my roomies! (LOL) and get to know each other. Including me, there are 2 guys and 2 gals. There are Wong(male), Tan(female), and Anati(female).


Anyway, as we made our way into the room (remember, KNOCK first!), we each stand in front of our chair and waited for the interviewers to signal us to seat. Which he literally did as soon as we all reached our seats.


There were three interviewers. Two guys, and one lady. And the guy in the middle is probably the head of the room, since he talked the most and also initiated our interview. He briefed us about our little interview journey.


"We'll begin with a brief introduction by everyone, and then you'll be given a motion, and also a 10-minutes to discuss. After the 10-minutes, we will begin our discussion on the topic given, consisting in two section. Section A is in Malay, and Section B in English. And lastly, you can ask any question that you want. And we'll try our best to finish this interview in roughly 45-minutes."


And I was OMG THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU LORD!!! I LOVE YOU!


I never thought the interview is going to be this easy. I was smiling through because I was very happy to know that there is no discussion on myself. Which is great since I hate that kind of discussion.


Anyway, since I am not very well prepared with the introduction text, I kind-of stuttered my way through the introduction, but still managing my smile! *grin*


And after that, I mean after hearing all those perfectly manicured introduction which almost cost my life to just hear it, the lady interviewer gave us our topic, which was,


"Healthy lifestyle campaign had been organised for several years in this country. What is the impact on the society?"


Hrmm, this is like very EASY! At first. Then the hard part begin.


As a stater, we decided to line out the campaigns that have been organised in Malaysia, like, TAK NAK MEROKOK (translation : No smoking) campaign, the Anti-drug campaign, and also several more. Which also include the government new effort, KURANGKAN GULA (translation : Reduce sugar intake).


And we did the whole regime. And after that the question section.


THE END!


Okay.. That was fast. Anyway, I don't really think that my panel for the day really did like what any other interviewers really do, in real life. So yeah, there is no much to tell. But what I do believe, what's important in an interview is how you actually speaks. I mean, you may know a lot, but if you can't convince people in believing what you're telling them, then there's no use! Take it from the story 'The Boy Who Cried Wolf'

Boy : Yo yo yo wolfie yo stop eating my sheep yo!
Sheep : STOP YOUR DAMN RAPPING AND SAVE MY ASS NOW!!
Other sheeps : YAAAAYY!! More GRASS!!

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that, I think, whats more important than your knowledge is ability to make people listen up to you and believe in you. In another term, the ability to tell-tale! Anyway, with that skill up in your sleeve, I'm sure you can out-wit anybody, the interviewers put aside of course.

Just remember one thing, don't lie too much, they'll know.

GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR INTERVIEW!

Interview! YAAYY!!

Today, I'll be having my first BIG interview, in which, it will be my chance of stealing someone's money to use it to pay my tickets to go overseas and study in some fancy countries. The nominated countries are India, Russia, Ireland, Republic of Czech, New Zealand, Poland, and a few that I have forgotten.

YAY!

Wish me luck. And by that. I'm looking for a DAMN BIG GOOD LUCK! 

YAY!   

P/s : I'll update later, but I'll just post this one...

It's APRIL FOOL!!!!

You might not believe your eyes, if balloons have what you called ass.... And no, this is not a Owl City-April-Fool-spoof song that I did. In fact, I've never done any spoof...

And if you ever believed that, HAPPY APRIL FOOL!!!

Anyways, what I'm about to show to you next is not a spoof, nor an APRIL FOOL thingy, despite I'm unnecesarily capitilazing the APRIL FOOL (there, I did it again), I really do mean it.

BALLOON HAS RECTUM! AND A ANUS!!

This might sounded pretty awfully stupid and bad and pedophilic at times, but it's true.

And you know what? There's no other fricking awesome way to prove this newly discovered scientific prove of an excretory organ of a BALLOON then some pictures*. And I swear, this pictures are not some made-up Big Foot picture that I pretty believe that they took it for April Fool purpose.

*Head ups!!!  These pictures are not to be spread, and some censorship had to been done as to perserve the dignity of these people who created a balloon with an asshole. Also so that I won't be facing any law suit of what so ever. *cross-finger*

Like what I told you earlier... I HAD to do some censorship, well, since I'm NOT the owner.

And that would be the most iconic noodle (a.k.a mee) lover I've ever seen chosen as a mascot!

And here is where all the truth willl come right at you and eat you up like your some Chinnese dish! Ummm, YUMMY!

"See, I told you it's an as*hole!"

I'm NOT a pedophilia!

Okay, I know this may look crazy, BUT I just want to prove that i wasn't only pressing the balloon really hard, you know? Because, well, balloon do have elasticity, but if you can stuck a spoon half way through what I believe as an rectum, then it surely seems like that balloon can supposedly crap. 

So there you have it. I would like to do a big THANKYOU-shout out to my sister who conviniently brougth this little demon back home after buying some clothes for her little monster. I wonder where she got this balloon...