FAMILY: Oh, Brother!

I guess I had never told any of you guys who read my blog what my family is like.

Well, honestly, I think my family is okay. That's it. It is just okay. There are no, like, over-protective, sweet, cuddly type of family. It is just an okay family. Which for me, fortunately, is totally great. Totally okay.

I still have both my parents. My father is... Um... Wait. Okay my father is now 63, this coming October. My mother is going to be something like 54 or something I don't know. Hahaha. *sigh*

I also have an older brother, who is turning 31 this year, a sister who is 24 last May, (ME!) and a little sister, who is (fat and) 12 years old. Before my (fat) little sister, I had another one little sister who died 7 days after her birth. She had some kind of internal problem, and was having difficulties in breathing. Poor her. 

But in this particular post, I am going to talk about - guess, guess!! - my older brother. Now don't get me wrong, but I'm doing this mainly because yesterday was his big day. He got married yesterday! (5th June 2010).

First off congratulations to him. Despite having to argue, fight, scowl, run away, and battle it out with my parents for this wedding, he had finally made it through and is now doing whatever he is doing with his wife. Ugh. 

This wedding, if I can say, is a total disaster. My brother, who I think is probably too eager to get married, decided that he will organized it all by himself. And that made both my parents mad. And they had probably boiled their brains out just thinking about the wedding and stuffs.

And this self-planned wedding happened all to the first part of a normal Malay-style wedding, the engagement ceremony thingy. My brother, being himself, had figured out everything and had even consulted with the girl's family, about almost everything. From the budgets to the representative to everything, they had figured it out. My brother and the girl's family, I mean. 

My father, being himself, all noisy and stubborn and hard-headed and bad tempered and all was clearly infuriated with my brother's decision. But, since this is all a good thing, my father had not said much about this. If you're willing to consider a recap of ALL your bad doings through your whole farting life as a 'not said much', then yeah, he had not said much.

The wedding plan, on the other hand, was even worst than the engagement thingy. My brother and the girl, had decided to take the girl's mothers' words all too seriously, when she said that 'the sooner the better'. They had already organized the whole things (budget, food, dresses, etc. etc.) a month earlier before my brother told my parents about their fast-track wedding plan. 

My parents' reaction might have made them the proud owner of the Academy Award for Best Supporting Male and Female Character in a Prime Time TV Drama. I would be so proud. If that was what supposed to be happening. Instead, almost every time they argued and scowled at each other, I had to plugged my MP3 and start listening to some ugly lady singing about her dream. 

Enough about their prehistoric fight and argument. I hate it. Now let's talk about my brother and why I hate him. 

Yup. You read it correctly. I hate him. Well, maybe not as much as I hate the Israelis, but still I do not like him. He is probably the person that I hate the most in this household apart from the rat, the cockroaches, and the lizards. 

I don't like his room. His room probably smelled of a dead rat that was preciously his pet but soon died from a diarrhea or something. But seriously, every time I had to go inside his room to wake him up, I would most like either 1) cover my mouth and nose, or 2) hold my breath. 

By the way, I prefer no. 2 since it actually helps me with my cardio training. 

He is also the biggest a-hole in this household. He practically woke up late in the noon, or rather early evening, being as cranky as he can, eat, while staining the whole house with his stinkiness, and then start to tell people to go fart off somewhere else. 

He also loves to smoke. And thanks to him, I am now officially a passive smoker. Well, maybe it's a little 7 years too late to thank him, but I think now is still okay. 

He is also the reason for my crave to kill any living thing. Though the only living thing that I had managed to killed did not come from the homo sapien genus. 

Another reason for me to hate him is that he uses a lot of money. Especially my money. He had practically took a total of RM 130.00 away from me. Although he had given me some used t-shirts of his, but taking my money is rather a little bit too much.

Other than that, I hate him for being such an a-hole. 

But still, talking to him, after he had taken his bath and all, was really a good thing. I never knew that he had such a soft spot, especially for his size. It makes him look kind of like that huge fat gay guy for the movie 'Another Gay Movie'. 

Well, I guess he is human after all. And to even strengthen that point, he is my brother. 

Whatever it is, I still loves him as a human, but hate him at the same time. I am hoping, now that he is married and all, that he would leave this house sooner so that I can take his room and make it into my sweet-scented paradise room. Hrmm...

Okay! That's all about my brother. If you are going for a wedding, or if you yourself are going through your wedding, be it your first, second, or third, may you have a huge great day filled with mighty-ly huge awesomeness that came down from the highest greatest sky! HAPPY FARTING WEDDING DAY!

Note: I am trying my very best to get as many post as I can, but right I think the progress I'm making is directly proportional to the number of reader that I get per day. So I guess that explains everything. If it's not, just considered yourself handicapped. Sorry.