CRAP - WHY I LIKE THEM

If you have ever wondered why this post is even here, it is probably because, a) I really don't know why I like the word 'CRAP' itself so this post serves some sort of self-discovery post, b) the word 'CRAP' is almost in every post of mine for the past few weeks, c) 'CRAP' is a beatiful thing, d) I don't really have anything to post today.

One thing that I observed myself doing and kept repeating doing is that once I've typed the title of a certain post I'd continue writing it like there's no tomorrow before regretting ever doing it and then will somehow find an escape goat from the lousiness of my post. Which is great, fortunately.

Now back to topic of today. CRAP. If you have an Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary 7th Edition, (any other dictionary would do, but might have different meaning and/or page), you can turn to page 358 in the C section. There are several words that you can find there that are, in a way or another, associated with the word 'CRAP'. Now let's see...

crapnoun, adj.,verb

• noun 1 [U] nonsense  2 [U] something of a bad quality  3 [U] criticism or unfair treatment  4 [U] solid waste matter for the bowels
• adj. (taboo,slang) bad, of a bad quality
• verb [V] (taboo,slang) to empty the solid waste from the bowels. a more polite way is to use 'to go to the toilet'. A more formal way is 'to empty the bowel'

crappyadj. (crap.pier, crap.piest) [usually before a noun] (slang) of very bad quality    crapsnoun [U] a gambling game played with two dices.    crap.shootnoun1 a game of craps 2 (informal) a situation whose success or result is based on luck rather than on effort or careful organization

And that is what I got from my ol' pal here, Mr. Dictionary. How about we asked his grandchildren opinion on the word crap.  Click here to see what dictionary.com has to say. Or here to see what other people had defined the word crap, from urbandictioanry.com.

Now for the real question, Why I like them? Why I like to use the word crap? Hmp, actually, I don't really know. Maybe it's easy to pronounce, maybe I'm just some guy who like to swear a lot. Whatever. Tghis post is very educational and that makes my head aches. I gotta go. See ya!

THE WORLD IS A CRAPPY PLACE TO BE

And no, I'm not being cruel to the world. Nor mother nature for goodness sake.

But out of nowhere, few days back, I found out that the world is indeed a very bad idea to live in. Especially nowadays. It is crap and a very bad place to live, breed, eat, sleep, or even start a riot in a library. Everybody seems to be either frigging scary/evil/cruel or gay. Sometimes both. Ugh.

Time, and sometimes poeple, flies fast. So fast that you are, well, sometimes can't even be bothered by the little trivia things happening to the Earth that are not going to cause you YOUR life in like the next minute or so. And if I can slow down the time and poeple's pace, I'd love to. It would make me the King of Time. I'll be on a slow-motion frenzy and make every single living person walk so slow that they would rot just taking a walk from their porch to the toilet. THAT'S SO AWESOME!

Crap.

I'm out of idea. Shit.

Hahaha I think that's what you get when you live in a crappy world and sleeps 4 in the morning after watching too many awesome videos at YouTube. Sometimes we human can't consume so many awesomeness in one time, or we might just burst with rainbow and glitters.

And that is a very bad way to die. What would they even diagnose your cause of death for? A sudden outburst of massive rainbow and glitters due to a  massive consumption of awesome? Hrm, somehow that sounded a lot cooler than I expected it to be.

Whatever it is, world nowadays is a very crappy place to live at. I mean, look around you. There's people being killed out of no reason. People being told that there are winners of some random stupid European lotto draw, which then end up losing even more money than you supposed to win. And you know what even more crappy than all this?

Football. Or soccer. Whichever come first.

I hate football/soccer. You know what I'll just use soccer since there's American Football, so to speak. This issue have even been brought by the Annoying Orange in this particular episode.

As you can see, when we say football, there would be two major posibilities, that are there for no apparent reason. The first one would be football, as in soccer. The second one is a rather private and limited sport I must say, the American football. Which ironically, doesn't suggest much of what the name would.

But still I hate soccer. To me, it is the crappiest game in the world and only losers play this sort of game. But not those international losers, I mean, player. They're good, and for that they are now kicking some balls in the international fields. And the ball is on the ground, not between some mens' legs. 

Soccer are considered craps when you;

A) Play for fun. You're a crap if you play soccer everyday, for 3 whole hours and only take it as a fun and healthy hobby. Because if that is what soccer to you, then Beckham wouldn't be as rich as he is today and Victoria Spice would still be making songs with the now-gone Spice Girls.

B) Play for your country, and your team sucks. It's the truth. You are one of the players for your national team, and all you do is take pictures of you wearing a cargo pants with a shirt, unbuttoned, revealing some hairy chest and then got some girls (probably some guys too) drooling on that photograph. I mean, what's the point of you becoming an athelete when all you do is take pictures and race for the Most Popular Sportsmen Award? You are gay for that.

C) Are a gay. Haha. Great. Imagine this,

Interviewer(I) : So, XXX, you are gay?

Gay Player(GP) : Yes, I am proud to admit that I'm gay. *wink*

I : Umm, okay, so what brings you to playing soccer, or football?

GP : Wow, such a straight question. *giggles* Um, what I like about soccer is that we kick balls, ad also the smell of the sweat when we're on the field, OMG! And not to mention when we all cramped in the shower ohmygod I just can't help myself! 

I : Uhhh...

GP : And also the possibilities of me groping butts or even touching someone's something, if you know what I mean. *double-wink*

Yup. 

D) Can't help but talk about it the whole day. And no, it's not a crap, for you at least. But for those who have to listen to you? Have you ever considered that? And if we all can just ran away from this kind of situation, we would, but guess what? It seems like we're stuck in this damn car in this damn road congestion and you ever want to talk about is soccer? Hello?

E) Can't make a whole lot of money out of it. Well, it make sense. You worked your ass out in the fields kicking balls and all you got is not even worth it! This sucks. That's why we should never make soccer playing as a permanent job. We should at least have a job with, again, AT LEAST double the pay you got when you didn't win in a match, so that you can somehow manage your life in this crumbling world.

F) You're the ball picker. There's nothing else to say.

Yup. To sum it all up, today, I started by talking about how crappy the world are today, with all that crap sutff, no wonder it's a world full of crapp. Next I bluttered out that I had no idea of what to write/type/rant/grunt/kill/slaughter and many more verbs. Then I suddenly took a very dangerous turn and decided to make football/soccer the reason as to why the world is a crappy place to live in. I love blogging! It's so much fun!

Oh and also there these new job opportunities (just saying!)  from FlyFm, a Malaysian radio station, which also happened to be my most favourite radio station! So if you're a Malaysian and currently in Malaysia and are very indeed in the need of fame and money (remember kids, fame comes first before the money!), why don't you guys check this out! 

And don't worry I'm not going to apply because I only talk craps and craps are wonderful to me with an exception of football. Thank you!

TAG-TAG-TAGIDY-TAG-TAG (EVERYDAY IS A FAIRY TAIL)

Disclaimer : This is actually a blog post for nothing, but since my best-girl-friend is challenging me to a stupid challenge, so I'll just do a two-in-one post. YAAAAYY!!

*****

Today was a fairy tail.

And no this is not a Taylor Swift appreciation post. This is actually a post of me, going through a rainy day.

WED, 5th May 2010.

I was playing Maple Story SEA. It was very interesting and fun and exciting and everything that is AWESOME. Then suddenly a series of thunder explodes in the sky. And it was very LOUD. It was like shouting 'DAMN YOU ALL ARE GONNA DIE!', with less word and more action.

Terrified of what happening,I hurried my way to the refrigerator, out of no reason. What I was thinking? But still the fridge at least offer me a refuge from the horror act that was playing outside. But since when I was outside? Hrm, computer games...

I turn around to look at the rain. It was raining heavily. You know how the saying goes, raining cats and dogs? Well I found that saying as crap as t.v ads. How can it be raining cats and dogs? There ain't any cats nor dogs come tumbling down from the sky! Old people sucks. It should be something like 'it's raining water and chemicals' or 'it's raining H and O' as in water molecule H₂O.


But, ironically, there was this one fluffy gray cat sitting near the back door, taking shelter from the cats and dogs that were falling from the sky.

See there are water droplets all over her face. Not cat/dog droplets.

I call her Ms. Fluffee, because she was so Fluffee. Haha

Hrm, still raining...

What's that? I didn't know I have THAT!

Someone's watching...

I'm sure there's someone watching.

Hey YOU!

Lady Gaga pose.

And we played most of the time. Such a poor thing she is, lil' Ms. Fluffee. She was really hungry. She even ate that baked banana (a.k.a. pisang goreng) that I bougth earlier. And she was asking for more. Poor thing. I didn't gave her more because then it would be such a waste.

Then approximately five minutes later the rain was tired of explaining to the sky that it was impossible to actually try to pour cats and dogs and that the little machine in Cloudy With a Chance of Meatball only can turn water molecule into food and not animals and that it was destroyed. So the day had stop raining. Not even cats, dogs, nor water came down from the sky.

And Ms. Fluffee then decided that it was the time from her to go and beg some other guys for food. And so she left me. Luckily my computer didn't do the sane thing. Or I might just freaked out. That's all for today. 

STOP looking at ME!

Note : Dear Minem. *sigh* Whatever. I can't find where to look for and there was no 8^th picture folder with the 8^th picture of nothing so I decided to give you NINE pictures of the same cat. You're welcome.

Can I Have A New Handphone?

 Yup. Can I have a new phone?

There was this contest, played on the t.v. And the prize were 10 BRAND NEW LG GD 510 POP. It was a series of quetions that contestants needed to collect, through out five days, and then there's a slogan needed to be completed. 

The questions was easy, like always. If you don't know the answers, then Google surely knows it. So it was never really a problem for me. Nor to the other contestants.

The slogan was the real challenge, I think, if we can really take it as a challenge. But alas, I hate it as much as I hate cockroaches and lizards.

And guess what? I didn't win it. Hmph, such a waste of time. Maybe I should just play game, that would be even more rewarding than some smartphone.

The world is so cruel. Now, can I have my new smartphone, really?

A LETTER FOR MY HONEY BEE.

Dear honey bee,

I hope that you are in the pink of health and in the blue of mind.

I'm writing this letter to reply your leter to me. I appreciate it very much that I just had to write this letter. Eventhough your letter to me is very simple and short, I'll make sure this letter of mine is worth posting on/in my blog.

So, how's life? From what I heared and saw (accidently, really) you're in a relationship. And obviously, not with me. Hmph, life goes on. And you sure seems to grow, a lot. I mean, having a spouse (boyfriend is very general you know. Even me is your boyfriend so what the hell?), being in a relationship, getting your license any soon now. You're way a head of me. Even your blog looks even more beautiful than the crap I got here.

Honey bee,

You know that time when we go out? Umm, actually I can't remember when was it and I certainly sure it is somewhat this year. You know what, crap the past. I hate them. Let's just look forward. Skinny girl sucks and curvy girls are a lot sexier.

Next time if we ever go out I want you to treat me, like forever. I love your money you know. Hell, I love everybody's money, as long as it is not mine. Money are beautiful, don't you think so?

When I read your latest blog post, I was like, who is this girl? What happened to the girl who once never give a shit about all this skinny/curvy battle thing? Hmph, I guess she must've grow up. Well, looks like I'm being left behind. But, who cares? At least I don't.

You know our other best friend? Ala that girl who are always with you, and me, with us, whatever. You remember that time when you actually told me something about her being so stock up with all her so-called love story and that she was thinking too high of herself, due to the fact of having someone admiring(?) her? Heh, guess what? The whole world know about that now.

Dear honey bee, 

So what are your plan now? I know you are going to continue your studies in Veterinarian Science. But are you not waiting for that call from JPA? When I look up at their web page, there this notice about the whole result for the PILN programme will be out in like another 2 weeks or so from the date this post being, umm, posted. So, are you going to wait for it? Well, whatever the outcome is going to be, I'll always be on your back, not admiring your back, but supporting it. Umm, your back I mean. Okay not your back literally, but, well you know what I mean. I'll watch your back, yo!

Right now, despite writing this letter for you, I'm watching the Snopp Dogg show, Fatherhood. And he's singing Sensual Seduction. And listening to that make me want to fall asleep this instant. But, I think I'm going to wait a little.

Dear bee,

You know how sometimes life sucks? Well, I don't really know it, like, so damn well about it, but I know that life sucks, sometime. But whatever life is like for you, I want you to always remember me. This is sad. Why would you ever forget about me? You're the meanest person if you ever did that. I hate you! If you forget about me, though. Just remember one thing. I know for sure that it'll take me like another lifetime just to get married, so, if you're going to get married and be in the larbour room, do remember to call me so that I can be your bestman. HAH! Now that's a lot sadder. And I do hope that that will not take me as long as this Tiki Farm to ever finish loading. This game sucks.

Bee,

Regarding your newest post, I always wish to have a very decent ass, like that ass of a swimming athelete that got his swimming suit tore at his behind and reveals some of his nice, buffy ass. I'd like that.

Do you still remember about that little thing we do on our way back home? The one that involves, that little note book of yours, my highligther pen, and the two guys beside us who I wanted to help our other friend hooked up with but end up just laughing and not talking. Well, whatever. The point is if I was given another chance to re-write just whatever that I did write that day, I'll do it like this :