Television = Crappy Vision: Tasbih Cinta

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Are you a Malaysian? Are you stranded at your house doing nothing and absolutely nothing in your house is considered worth-time-wasting? Want to watch the TV? For real?

Get the shell away from the TV! What are you, suiciding?

Hahaha I'm just kidding. But seriously, watching TV nowadays can get you not one, but TEN heart attacks, depending on how severe the plot, character(s), and/or subtitle is.

Watching the television requires you to tune in to the correct channel or else you might just get multiple heart problems due to sudden burst of anger and anxiety. Which is bad. This (so-called) fact can actually reduce the human population from God-knows-how-much to none in mere seconds. It's like the apocalypse!

Okay, quit chattering. The main story for today is not the next apocalypse. It's about Tasbih Cinta. It is a story that is aired at TV3, the Malaysian national broadcasting station, which sadly does not belong to the government. YAAAAYY!!

In this post, just so that you won't be hammering me with bad comments, although I don't really have more than 10 comments in each post, I will not be telling you any lies. Instead, I will tell you how watching Tasbih Cinta can actually kill you, even if you watch only some of the episodes. Also a few of my own review on this story.

Click the picture to read a fan review on the drama. NOTE: The review is in Malay

Okay now. My own review on Tasbih Cinta, and how it can actually can be a fatal weapon.

Plot: The story has a very simple yet worth noticing plot. A girl who lost both her parent in an accident or misfortune of some sort raised by a foster parents who sells satay for living. Later on she worked (unintentionally) in a hotel, in which the owner of the hotel is blood-related to the deceased parents. Then some love story, yada yada yada and then tadaa!! She discovered the real truth behind the whole story, got married, marital issues, stupid in-laws, super granny, pregnancy, run away. Oh my God, so many things happening. I hate it.

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Characters: The character is a bit dull, if I might say so. It felt like watching Glee without the singing part. It's stupid. They are not shining out, or beaming of some sort. I just hate it. They cried, and it looked so dramatic that you know they are not crying. I mean, it's not a comedy drama. If it is a comedy drama then it is acceptable for them to be crying with such a dramatic face, but this? Seriously? 

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Script/Dialogue: Crap. It sucks like nothing. It is so stupid that just hearing the dialogues might get you an ENT (Ear, Nose, and Throat) infection. Urgh. I've never heard anything so stupid that I had to cry just trying to accept it. Not that I cry for that matter, though.

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Problems/Conflicts: There are too many conflicts/problems, that if you really do list out, you going to die out of dehydration. I know this might sounded a bit harsh and all, but really there are just too much problems going on and out of the story. And by out of the story I mean the camera crew, the setting, the dialogue, the expression on the characters, the slow-motion thingy, the sounds, the almost everything. Sheesh. I hate it.

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Fatality: There are many problems in here, enough to actually clog your aorta and cause you an instant heart attack. Instantaneously. Believe me. Let just list out the problem, shall me? 

1) Character(s). As I told you earlier they got a lot of problem with the characters. It's like they got the wrong man playing the wrong role, and what make it even worse is that even if they do switch characters, it still sucks. They should just cast a new cast. 

What make me cry is that their protagonist (the little brother) looks like he's gay. A bottom, for that matter. And the hero/antagonist/helpless & hopeless person is more of a bi-sexual kind of guy and had gone through an incest with his little brother. Hmph. World these days. 

Oh, and the granny. I hate her. The heroin's mother. Hate her too. The hero/gay-brothers' mother. Helpless. No other word can express how happy I am to actually be able to just find a new cast, and rather a suiting one. 

2) Plot. For me the plot is okay. AT FIRST. And when the heroin's evil step sister starts to get possessed and become evil-er, the storyline begin to have their ulcers. And it hurts, believe me. 

Not just that the plot made no sense at all, but also if you walk-through the whole script you might be depressed, for a very long period of time.The heroin, for example, just can't get her mind straight on who she really loves. I know that's a normal thing, especially in a drama. But even after the numerous time being cheated/tricked/persuaded/fooled by the protagonist, how can she just afford to forget about it and moved on living under the same roof as him?

Not to mention her husband, the so-called hero. Has all the evidence to proof that his gay-brother is guilty in all the fraud he did, but never even thought of using it. Even my father is better than him. Of course, I think we all are better than him. I don't know what is it that he is waiting for, with all the evidence with him. Maybe the apocalypse, who knows? 

3)Camera. This is another problem with Indonesian cameraman. I am not going to go on rambling about their stupid the filming style is, but seriously, I'm wondering what they taught at the university. The slow-motion-close-up dynamic-duo thing isn't going to work anymore guys. You better start learning on how the zoom-out button really does work. And I wonder if there is only a zoom-in function in their camera because, oh God, you never, NEVER, see the casts' legs. Out of no reason! 

4)Marital issue (from an Islamic view). Since I am a Muslim (though not a very good one), I still do know my way in the Islamic view in marital issues. The fundamental of marriage in Islam is that if you're husband is a good/noble guy, as a wife you HAVE to follow him. I mean, wherever he goes, you got to be there. 

And whatever that he says, if it is a good thing, you just got to listen to him.And another simple rule is that we believe that Heaven lies beneath the feet of the husband. Well, not literally. But following your husband's word and advice will eventually leads you to Heaven. If what your husband tells you to do is indeed a good thing. If not, well, dumped him!

But the heroin, who is married to the hero, knows no boundaries or rules. When she hates him, she would just run away from him and go to the gay-brother. She even told her husband that she rather has her baby have a father like the gay-brother and not her husband. God, not to mention that they are still married. How stupid can they really be? 

5) Super granny. The granny. Heh, she's not the super-granny that you wished you have. She's the worst. She listens to the gay's word more than she listens to her own heartbeats. If you have her as your in-laws' parent, you are not going to see your wife in like, another life time. It's like once you're married you got to jump from a 100ft bridge and hope that you'll see your wife in another life.She just won't let the MARRIED couple meet and discuss their problem. No way, that is going to lead to more troubles. So what she did was, don't let them meet, and hoped for the best. Jeez, she's good. 

6) So-sial workers. You know how doctors, all over the world had taken vows on how they won't misuse their power and knowledge into their own profits and stuff? Well I personally don't know about it, but I do believe that doctors who do misuse their power and knowledge for their own profits are a group of mentally ill person and should be chained down to a chair and be electrocuted. 

In this drama, you can see how doctors behave very badly. They do bribery, lied about pregnancy, eager to receive a large sum of money just so that they can improve their live. It is so severe that an ulcer can be comforting. I mean, how can you, as a doctor, cheat to a father of a fetus, still intact to her mother, who both survived a car accident, just because some gay threatens you and pay you a sum of money to shut your mouth? You suck. 

7)Lighting and lightning. Everyday is a day. Yup, no doubt about it. There was no significant night. It has only days and some gloomy/darker days. That's all. Oh, not to be forgotten, some cloudy days and raining days. 

8) Evidence. Having a lot of evidence, but not knowing what to do with them. Imagine this: 

You have a bad-ass gay-brother who is crazy on crushing your not-so beautiful wife. And to achieve that he had done some very bad stuffs, like for example, hired some thug-look-alike to punch him in front of your wife so it would appeared to your wife that he tried to protect her. And he also paid numerous doctors to actually lie about his medical reports, or gives out a false information to the patient's family members. 

And after some time, you have gathered all the evidence of your gay-brother ill doing. But, whenever you go to talk with your wife, you never ever brought that idea up. You just think that maybe by talking to her, or rather shouting to her from the front yard, could actually opens up her eyes to see the truth. What are you, Houdini? 

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See! Out of the entire problem, the FATALITY actually has very detailed details that somehow convey the fatality of the story, especially if you have any blood pressure problem or any cardiac problem in your family line.

Now what I am trying to say is not that I hate Indonesian products. I mean, I do have my own favourites like the movie Ayat-Ayat Cinta, and also the soundtrack from that movie, also several dramas that went way back, like few years back. But this drama, I tell you, sucks like nobody has ever suck. And what make it even worst is that you can do nothing in order to stop TV3 from airing that drama.

Which is sad, for me especially. I mean, my family and I crazed for stories aired by TV3. For us, it is the best. Even the news, they serve the best news ever. But this drama, to me, it screams 'NO' from the beginning till the end. This drama is so sick, that even the SAW franchise is equivalent to Zhu Zhu pet. They should really just show a new drama and just dump this drama somewhere else (Hint: Sewer).